A couple of years back I headed off to Singapore for Vale Tudo coaching, while there the trinity of self was in an amazing place. Mind, body and spirit were in a beautiful harmony, I was training hard, experiencing different cultures, reading heavily and was somebody slipped a little something into my education.

Walking through one of their beautiful bookstores I grabbed a copy of The Ethical Slut and my coach forced upon me a rather odd looking book Shambhala: The sacred path of the warrior. After being mostly left on my bookshelf for a good 4 years I finally opened it up last night, and it's rather beautiful.

It is a lesson in personal mastery, a practice in acquiring personal freedom through gentleness, courage and self-knowledge. Without attaching to any specific culture it pulls together the potential richness of humanity.

The last week has been a difficult one, regardless have how easy it is for me to help others step through their darkness, I forget that I sometimes have to step through my own. The game is easier to see by those not playing it.

I've been working through my headspace, and realised how simple it can be sometimes. I'm a starter, I love to start things, and hate to finish them, I just get bored. Once I've worked out how something should work, there's a little switch in my head that goes *ping* it's done. Of course, this means that I don't derive the value from completing the job.

I've also noticed that life seems easy from an external perspective, we watch people do things that they've done a million time, without taking into account that they've done it a million time, and comment to ourselves "They make it look so easy." Hidden away is the blood, sweat, tears and utter frustration that have lead them to their personal mastery.

So I've stopped. Instead of beating myself up, twisting at my very core, I've stopped. Instead I've set up a system of small jobs to do on a daily basis, which are actually treats to me, to show myself how much I'm worth to myself, and slowly I build up my esteem once again.

Life is hard, and we all have the tools to deal with it, and we all deserve the best life that we can create for ourselves.